guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
