All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
