last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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