Duck Duck Cougar?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
