They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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