He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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