its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
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We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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