i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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