That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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