I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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