i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
