Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice