I'm going to jail i love you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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