Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
