Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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