god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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