I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
