I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
honey bunches of taint.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
