i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize