I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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