i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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