I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
