doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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