the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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