I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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