Non-Jews are for practice
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
