the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
