Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
