So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
