I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize