i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
