hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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