btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
