Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
