The maid of honor just puked.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
