no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You can't motorboat a personality
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
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Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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