Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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