Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
