Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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