better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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