If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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