adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
