You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
