I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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