Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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