do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
