You can't special order awesome
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
