Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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