Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
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If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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