Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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