There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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