please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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