in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
