I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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