i may or may not be watching the land before time
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
