They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
