distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
