Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize