I think I won the penis lottery.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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